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Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
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Whiskey Offline
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Post: #1
Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
A thread to relax, pull up a chair, let it all hang out, have a few beers and have fun.
The forum needs a place to not be so SERIOUS all the time.

This thread will be as informal as they come, post whatever you want, have some laughs along the way.

Un-stiffen those collars !!!!!!!!

Cheers, Whiskey

[Image: english-funny_zps1qgpnpix.jpg]

[Image: th42XMG5Y1_zpsdihumxzq.jpg]

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01-04-2015 01:08 PM
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JohnnyMac Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
LOL, Whiskey! Good stuff there. I especially love this one...

[Image: th42XMG5Y1_zpsdihumxzq.jpg]

It's exactly what I envision as really happening there. I think I watched too much Benny Hill growing up. Rofl
01-04-2015 01:49 PM
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JohnnyMac Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
[Image: senseev3.jpg]
01-04-2015 01:57 PM
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JohnnyMac Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
Cheers!

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01-04-2015 02:01 PM
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Whiskey Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
Moving to the U.S.? Think you speak the language? Think again. Here are ten everyday phrases that may cause concern or confusion to the uninformed immigrant.

Wife-beater
Don’t be alarmed if you overhear an American guy say that he’s going to go home and change into his wife-beater—it’s a common U.S. term for a vest (as Brits call it) or undershirt.

Mom-and-pop stores
No, this is not a place where orphans can go to purchase a mommy and daddy. In the U.S., independently owned businesses are affectionately known as “mom-and-pop” stores. They can be anything from cafes to grocery stores, clothing boutiques to pharmacies, comic book emporiums to toyshops. In major cities with high rents, mom-and-pop stores have suffered at the hands of gentrification and many once-thriving businesses have given way to 7-Elevens, Starbucks’ and Duane Reades.

Cooties
This highly contagious but fictional disease is the U.S. equivalent of the dreaded British lurgy. It thrives in the playground and can be transmitted via touching, sharing drinks, and smooching behind the school gymnasium.

Cookie cutter
If something is described as being “cookie cutter,” then said object is devoid of any originality and individualism because it has either been mass-produced or much imitated. The phrase is often used to describe housing developments in suburban areas where all the homes are built from the same blueprint. But it’s a versatile expression that can be used to describe almost anything where similarity can be found in abundance: guest rooms at large hotel chains, for example, could be described as being cookie cutter.

Cougar
The cougar is a dangerous species of middle-aged woman that preys on younger men. Their favored hunting grounds are nightclubs, and Bon Jovi concerts where they can be found stalking the vicinity for virile males 20 years their junior.

Panhandling
Panhandling is the American term for begging. But here’s the tricky thing: “tramp” in the U.S. refers to a prostitute or slutty woman and “bum” is the common word for a homeless person. So telling an American colleague you gave money to a tramp during your lunch break may birth some undesired rumors.

John & Jane Doe
John & Jane Doe are placeholder names used in America when the true identity of an individual is either unknown or must be withheld for legal reasons. Like many perceived “Americanisms”, John Doe is, in fact, a British term. It originated during the reign of Edward III (1312 – 1377) amid legal disputes involving landowners and tenants known as the Acts of Ejectment. In the mock-up document, John Doe was chosen as the name for the landlord and Richard Roe for the tenant. Nobody knows why John and Richard were chosen as the given names but it seems most likely they were picked simply because they were common. “Doe” of course is the noun for a female deer, whilst “Roe” was (and still is) a common species of deer found in Europe, but again nobody knows why these particular surnames were settled on. Any ex-pat readers will know that John Doe is the U.S. equivalent to the British term “Joe Bloggs.”

Douche bag
It’s somewhat curious that an instrument used for feminine hygiene is an idiom for a sleazy, despicable guy. It would be like referring to an unpleasant, catty woman as a penis basin (if such an apparatus existed).

Miranda Rights
The first time I heard this expression I thought, “Who’s Miranda Wright and what’s she got to do with anything?” You will most likely know the Miranda Rights from American movies and TV shows. It’s the spiel cops give criminals when they arrest them. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Blah blah blah…”

Jump the shark
This Americanism refers to the moment in which a television show begins its decline towards the end. It is marked by a significantly preposterous scene written into the script in a desperate attempt to keep viewers interested. The term comes from an episode of Happy Days in which Fonzie (in trademark leather jacket) jumps over a shark on water skis. The term has evolved into a common idiom in the wider world of popular culture so that it is now often applied to bands, brands and celebrities. “Boy,” you might hear someone say, “I thought Kanye jumped the shark when he interrupted

We may have invented the English language but that doesn’t mean our version is always understood by those who share our mother tongue.

1. What we say: “Sorry”
What Americans hear: “I sincerely apologize.”
Saying sorry is like a national tic, which means we Brits rarely use the word to convey a heartfelt apology. This is baffling to Americans who will, on occasion, reply with something like, “Why, exactly, are you sorry?” “I’m not,” you’ll say, confused. “Sorry.”

2. What we say: “How do you do?”
What Americans hear: “Please provide a rundown of your most recent medical.”
Despite how it sounds, this is a formal greeting and not an invitation for commentary on a person’s quality of life. But Americans sometimes take it literally and have no problem replying truthfully, with a list of ailments.

3. What we say: “Cheers”
What Americans hear: “To your good health”
In the U.S., this is what people say when they clink glasses in the pub. We do this too but Brits have other uses for this word, all of which will flummox your American friends. Like when we say “cheers” instead of “thank you.” Signing off a phone call or an email this way will leave U.S. folk wondering why you’re toasting them.

4. What we say: “You know what I mean?”
What Americans hear: “Did you comprehend what I just said?”
This British conversation filler isn’t even weighty enough to count as a rhetorical question. Nonetheless, Americans will take it at face value and seek to reassure you that they did indeed understand your last statement.

5. What we say: “I’ve got the right hump.”
What Americans hear: “I have a hunchback.”
Sometime Brits see fit to borrow camels’ dominant physical attribute to help explain that they’re annoyed or frustrated. We’re not, in fact, opening up about a crippling disfigurement.

6. What we say: “It’s a bit dear.”
What Americans hear: “It’s slightly adorable.”
When we Brits want to politely say something is too expensive, we might roll out this quaint old expression. Not a good idea if you’re trying to haggle with an American: they’ll take it as a compliment.

7. What we say: “I got off with this fit bird.”
What Americans hear: “I disembarked with an athletic pigeon.”
Don’t expect Americans to even attempt a translation here. But if they do manage to guess that “got off with” means “made out with”, be sure to clarify that what you mean by “bird.”

8. What we say: “I went to public school.”
What Americans hear: “I went to a school my parents didn’t pay for.”
Americans with a snobbish bent will lap up tales of posh British schooling. However, your use of the word “public” may well throw them off. Begin by explaining that, in the U.K., public school is the same as private school. Or, decide not to have this conversation in the first place because it’ll make you sound like a twit.

9. What we say: “I’m easy.”
What Americans hear: “I always have sex on the first date.”
Even the ultra laidback Brits who use this expression might still take issue with the American translation. To avoid misinterpretation, plump for something more on the nose like, “I don’t mind.”

10. What we say: “All right, darling?”
What Americans hear: “How are you, love of my life?”
Save prudish Americans’ blushes by not directing this informal version of “How do you do?” at them. Worse still is the West Country version, which substitutes “darling” for the infinitely more bewildering and inappropriate “my lover.”

Have you had any issues with Americans not understanding your lingo?
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2015 02:27 PM by Whiskey.)
01-04-2015 02:24 PM
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
LOL the confusism's of British slang on Americans is just too funny sometimes Tongue
01-04-2015 06:23 PM
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Whiskey (04-01-2015)
JohnnyMac Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
LOL! True that, Martin. It goes both ways though for instance how you Brits always snicker when we mention fanny packs. Rofl

When we pinch a waitress' fanny it does not mean we stole her vagina.
01-04-2015 09:37 PM
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Michael Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
Johnny I think that last bit was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Nice. 
02-04-2015 03:54 AM
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Michael Offline
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RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
Thanks for this thread Whiskey, it gets pretty tense on here sometimes so it's good to lighten up a bit. I've got quite a few random "just for fun" gifs saved up, sorry if I stole any of these from you Tongue

Let's start with the long one: Lord of the Rings, retold with catapults.
[Image: LotR%20retold%20with%20catapults_zpshrd4zdk2.gif]

And then some random fun ones Tongue

[Image: mario%20cart_zpspqxeskgf.gif]

[Image: cookie%20monster%20watching%20balls%20cl...bgtmvn.gif]

[Image: poor%20cats_zpsgvtnvzmg.gif]

[Image: Time%20to%20wake%20up_zps4jpdqq2o.gif]

And to top it all off, another long one: 

[Image: weird%20pee_zpss7pzi9zg.gif]
02-04-2015 04:08 AM
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Don Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Y'all need to relax-here's a FUN thread
(01-04-2015 01:49 PM)JohnnyMac Wrote:  LOL, Whiskey!  Good stuff there.  I especially love this one...

[Image: th42XMG5Y1_zpsdihumxzq.jpg]

It's exactly what I envision as really happening there.  I think I watched too much Benny Hill growing up. Rofl

There are too many armed cops around for my comfort these days.....

The UKAEA cops have always been armed - and are trained by special forces.

Most of them were soldiers.

The Britishism that really gets Americans is "I'm going for a fag"

Which means I'm going to burn a stinky, not that I'm about to stick things into orifices of someone of the same gender.

TVF tested battery info to be found here

http://www.preventsuicideapp.com

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03-04-2015 10:05 PM
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