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Oldie but a goodie
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TinWhisker Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Oldie but a goodie
Here's one for Xperimental and the rest of the customer service folks, especially those in IT tech support.



15-03-2016 08:00 PM
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Don Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Oldie but a goodie
(15-03-2016 08:00 PM)TinWhisker Wrote:  Here's one for Xperimental and the rest of the customer service folks, especially those in IT tech support.




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15-03-2016 08:02 PM
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TinWhisker (02-21-2018)
Don Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Oldie but a goodie
Which reminds me of this one...


"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is? Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power . . . A power failure? Ah-ha. Right. (long pause) Okay, I think we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

TVF tested battery info to be found here

http://www.preventsuicideapp.com

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15-03-2016 08:07 PM
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TinWhisker Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Oldie but a goodie
I love BOFH.
15-03-2016 08:14 PM
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Michael (03-15-2016)
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Post: #15
RE: Oldie but a goodie
I didn't recognize that as a quote from BOFH, but I was thinking all along that it felt like the same style... Great stuff there, highly recommended even if you aren't tech support, it's still hilarious. 
15-03-2016 08:17 PM
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TinWhisker (03-15-2016)
TinWhisker Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Oldie but a goodie
That be Simon alright.
15-03-2016 08:18 PM
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Don Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Oldie but a goodie
Allegedly that is transcribed from the WordPerfect hell desk. The guy got sacked for it. A true BOFH would have found a way to put 30kV down the phone line.

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15-03-2016 08:22 PM
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Don Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Oldie but a goodie
One of my recent favourites.

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15-03-2016 08:26 PM
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TinWhisker Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Oldie but a goodie
Even older almost two years later but still funny.
21-02-2018 09:11 PM
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Bugalien Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Oldie but a goodie
I loved the ass whoopin one cause it seemed as if the victim knew it all along. Lol.
21-02-2018 11:12 PM
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